Personal Posts

Healing

About two months ago, many chapters of my life abruptly came to a close. I finished my AA at a community college, I learned how to walk away from a bad situation, and I lost my dog Emma after 14 wonderful years of having her and 16 of her being alive. I’ve experienced a lot of death within my family at a young age, but losing my sweet Emma is probably one of the hardest. Two months later and I’m still crying over her. There’s an emptiness that follows loss, and that’s what I’m trudging through now.

The two years since my high school graduation have been some of the hardest and most challenging years of my life. Dealing with worsening anxiety, loss, difficult relationships, new jobs, countless health issues, and a full school load has been a struggle to say the least. But these past two years have also proved to be some of the most rewarding. I’m more sure of who I am than I ever have been and I’m finally regaining control over my happiness.

I have always believed that every painful experience is something to grow from. Take control of situations that have hurt you by becoming stronger from them. It’s easier said than done, but it’s something I’ve always lived by. I may hurt, but I am determined to learn and grow from these past two years.

I read a book by Carrie Hope Fletcher called All I Know Now and there was one chapter that really stuck with me. She wrote about “dating” herself. She did what she enjoyed, she took risks for her own sake, and she took time to learn herself without the influence of other people. It may be June, but I believe I have my 2017 resolution. I need to put myself back together. I need to be unapologetically me. It’s time to date myself.

I may not be ready to jump in, but I am ready to take the first few steps. I am ready to start doing things I enjoy again, like my blog. I started writing several movie reviews to post but I just wasn’t ready to come back until now. I have a new series idea I’d like to try out here on Oh Hello, Darling. If you’re a Potterhead, you may want to stay tuned.

If there’s anything you’ve previously enjoyed from my blog that you’d like to read more of, let me know! I’m excited to write again, even if it is with a wonky posting schedule.

 

It’s been a minute…

So, it’s been a while. I should have known that my procrastination would get in the way of regularly blogging. In all honesty, I have been quite busy. With the start of a new semester, working more hours, and doing a bit of exploring, I seem to have lost track of everything. I’ve procrastinated all semester, haven’t filled out any applications for universities, neglected my book reviews, and slacked on writing any blog posts on things I’ve desperately wanted to write about. So here’s a quick update: Christmas happened, I finished my book reading quota, set a new year’s resolution I haven’t worked on, started a difficult semester, cut my hair, went on vacation, and injured myself. I hope to be back in action soon, but I’m going to use this time I am stuck in bed to catch up on some work, including blogging. Expect to see some book reviews on my Goodreads and some blog posts in the near future. See you soon!

Holidays at 20

I recently turned 20-years-old. This means I have grown into a wise adult who is ready to share my completely mature and totally correct ideas and opinions. Okay, maybe not. I’ve barely experienced life or the adventures and lessons it has to offer me. But at twenty, I am starting to realize some things I never did before. For example, life is expensive and doesn’t live up to your expectations. You probably just read that and thought “that’s truly ground-breaking” or “how incredibly genius.” However, the point of this post isn’t to talk about how incredibly deep I am or the expensive nature of living in our modern society, this post is about the holidays.

There are three distinct phases I have gone through so far in regards to holidays. The first being early childhood. When I was young, I loved everything about holidays and they seemed larger than life. Just the time of year was enough to get me excited for the holidays, it was as if it was magic. The second being the teenage phase where I felt like the holidays faded. The time of year wasn’t magical anymore and the excitement was gone. Sure, I learned the secret about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but that wasn’t what ruined the magic. The holidays seemed repetitive and felt like a commercial scam. However, the past two years, since being out of high school, I can say I’m in my newest phase. Maybe it’s because I have a job now, maybe it’s because I’m constantly busy or maybe I have finally fallen for the commercial scam, the holidays seem like such a treat now. It’s a time where I can choose to go all out and celebrate or have a relaxed night at home. It’s a time when I get to see people I haven’t seen in years and give back to the people I love. It’s an excuse to be festive and look past the crappy situation you’re in and make your holiday or holiday season as exciting and festive as you want.

For the first time in years, I carved a pumpkin. When I was younger I never fully did the carving, but this year I made my own little masterpiece and I got to do it with someone I love, which made the experience at least 10 times better. I may not have dressed up this year, but I went out and did something new and lost my Rocky Horror Picture Show virginity and ordered french toast as an appetizer. It’s no longer up to my parents to make the holidays memorable, that’s my responsibility now. I don’t want these holidays to slip by me, I want to make the most of them while I can. I’m only twenty now so I’m sure I’ll go through many life changes and holidays will mean something new to me in no time. I sound as if I could start writing Hallmark cards now, trust me, I’m not that jazzed about it, I’m really just proud of my pumpkin and happy I ate french toast before dinner. For now, I’ll just stick to this new found appreciation and hope it lasts through emptying my bank account for everyone’s Christmas presents.

Time to buckle down

Writing and reading are two things that I absolutely love to do. I find that when I don’t read, I don’t write. I guess it’s just an inspiration thing. Since I’ve been so busy with school and work, I practically haven’t read anything in months. The last book I finished was Jurassic Park a few months ago and that took me one whole year to get through. I wanted to write a review about it but I just let time pass by and now I can’t remember my specific notes to write about. Last night I stayed up until about 3 am reading a book that has been on my bookshelf for years now and I’m finally feeling inspired. My goal for 2016 is to read at least 5 of the books that have been cluttering up my shelf and review all of them. Yes, I realize 5 books is a small number, but I need to stay realistic with my schedule here. I’m fairly confident that this will get the creative juices flowing again and hopefully you’ll see some new posts from it. See you soon!