About two months ago, many chapters of my life abruptly came to a close. I finished my AA at a community college, I learned how to walk away from a bad situation, and I lost my dog Emma after 14 wonderful years of having her and 16 of her being alive. I’ve experienced a lot of death within my family at a young age, but losing my sweet Emma is probably one of the hardest. Two months later and I’m still crying over her. There’s an emptiness that follows loss, and that’s what I’m trudging through now.
The two years since my high school graduation have been some of the hardest and most challenging years of my life. Dealing with worsening anxiety, loss, difficult relationships, new jobs, countless health issues, and a full school load has been a struggle to say the least. But these past two years have also proved to be some of the most rewarding. I’m more sure of who I am than I ever have been and I’m finally regaining control over my happiness.
I have always believed that every painful experience is something to grow from. Take control of situations that have hurt you by becoming stronger from them. It’s easier said than done, but it’s something I’ve always lived by. I may hurt, but I am determined to learn and grow from these past two years.
I read a book by Carrie Hope Fletcher called All I Know Now and there was one chapter that really stuck with me. She wrote about “dating” herself. She did what she enjoyed, she took risks for her own sake, and she took time to learn herself without the influence of other people. It may be June, but I believe I have my 2017 resolution. I need to put myself back together. I need to be unapologetically me. It’s time to date myself.
I may not be ready to jump in, but I am ready to take the first few steps. I am ready to start doing things I enjoy again, like my blog. I started writing several movie reviews to post but I just wasn’t ready to come back until now. I have a new series idea I’d like to try out here on Oh Hello, Darling. If you’re a Potterhead, you may want to stay tuned.
If there’s anything you’ve previously enjoyed from my blog that you’d like to read more of, let me know! I’m excited to write again, even if it is with a wonky posting schedule.